Recently, I was taken to comment on something I saw on the internet. I have to be careful about this sort of thing, especially if it is late at night. No sense triggering the fear seeker in me by engaging someone in an argument before bed.At issue was the oft heard lament from women that men want to fix things instead of listening. Could men be better listeners? Probably. We do well enough listening to each other seems to me.

After all, we BUILT THE WORLD! ffs.

Sure women helped, but it is primarily men who build cultures because of our large group bias and preference for things. Women have a small group bias and prefer people. They also tend to stick with one or two, no more than a handful, of loyal friends whom they use for emotional regulation. While men are comfortable operating in many different social spheres. While men build cultures, you could say women, on the other hand, stress test any culture men build on behalf of everyone.

Instead, we hear a lot of put downs online and in the media about men by dissatisfied women. The media is corporate, and women spend between 50 to 90% of disposable income so… that’s why you have shows like Everybody Loves Raymond and an anti-male themed culture.

The crux of women’s complaining seems to be about how men are not more like them. Think about that for a moment. Think about how impossible that situation is.

Yet, all over the world, men are lining up to do exactly that. Be more like women. If you read me you will know I contend this is modern man’s search for maternal acceptance.

If there is any truth to women’s dissatisfactions, I believe it more accurately arises from the opposite in fact: that men are not men but rather, adult boys. The “mansplaining lament” arises only in a vast sea of male weakness by women tired of being taken for granted. Read the Caregiver’s Dilemma for more.

It is primarily women who caregive.

I’ve got some news for you. Men make lousy women and women make lousy men. Surely the Drag Queen Story Hour and trans phenomena amply illustrate these fucking points.

Furthermore, men are not sticking up for themselves. Why? Abuse of empathy is a woman’s birthright. Women compete differently than we do, and it throws us off our game.

Men compete head on to determine expertise, to ensure you are male and to test each other for mettle (courage). If you can’t stand my teasing (for the thwarted boy hero this can mean bullying) how will you stand shoulder to shoulder with me and defend against the enemies?

It is primarily men who defend.

Women compete by maneuvering covertly using mean remarks, social exclusion, and by winning over each other’s friends and allies.

Disagree with a male and the prospect of getting punched in the face usually keeps things civil. Disagree with a female and she will tend to go behind your back and undermine you with others until someone else punches you in the face. No one talks about this much… but every woman knows this.

Guys say nothing rather than risk the ire of the pissed off feminine. There is real threat to her antics socially, and yet, it’s just one more problem men have to fix. Oh, if you were waiting for women to get around to addressing these contentious issues, don’t hold your breath.

Pay attention, you won’t read this anywhere else.

It goes burdened female precious creator of life and expendable male powerful defender of life. Together, they are Team Human.

When men stop being powerful defenders of life… women, burdened and precious, are forced to do their own defending. Where does that leave you? Exactly: expendable. Which is what is happening.

And women are no equals to men in the defending department.

Nature, homo sapiens essence, demands she fulfill her destiny. She will find a male. If he’s weak, she will use him. She must. A powerful man restores evolutionary balance.

It is… your only option.

It is your masculine destiny. Everything else is weakness.

The answer to almost every challenge between men and women is for men to rise and become powerful defenders of life as nature intended.

We Defend, Deliver and Decide within the Team Human context, and that includes women. 👀

Sure, accommodate the sisterhood where you can: be a Team Human player.

But impose limits when it undermines the very nature of what it is to be a man.

Never apologize for arriving here under the heavens as a male…


Questions? Comments?

true and free…

STYLE GUIDE for Christopher Wallace

1. Tone and Voice:
  • Personal and Reflective: The tone is deeply personal, introspective, and reflective, often delving into the author’s personal experiences and emotions.
  • Philosophical and Analytical: The essay combines personal narrative with philosophical musings, analyzing complex emotional and psychological concepts.
2. Structure and Format:
  • Narrative with Interspersed Analysis: The essay alternates between storytelling and analytical commentary, blending personal anecdotes with broader insights.
  • Segmented Approach: The essay is divided into sections with distinct headings, each focusing on a different aspect of the overarching theme.
3. Language and Diction:
  • Varied Vocabulary: The essay employs a rich and varied vocabulary, including both simple and complex words.
  • Descriptive and Evocative: Language is used to paint vivid pictures and evoke emotions, often using metaphors and similes.
  • First-Person Perspective: The narrative is primarily in the first person, adding to the personal and intimate feel.
4. Themes and Content:
  • Focus on Relationships and Emotions: Central themes include family dynamics, love, and the psychological impact of childhood experiences.
  • Integration of Personal and Universal: While focusing on personal experiences, the essay also touches on universal themes, making broader observations about human nature and relationships.
5. Use of Literary Devices:
  • Metaphors and Similes: Frequent use of metaphors and similes to draw comparisons and deepen understanding.
  • Anecdotes: Use of personal anecdotes to illustrate points and engage the reader.
6. Pacing and Flow:
  • Balanced Pacing: The essay maintains a steady pace, allowing for reflection and absorption of ideas.
  • Smooth Transitions: Transitions between personal narrative and analytical insights are smooth and natural.
7. Audience and Purpose:
  • Adult Audience: The content and style suggest it is intended for an adult audience, particularly those interested in introspection and understanding human relationships.
  • Purpose to Enlighten and Reflect: The essay aims to enlighten the reader about the complexities of human emotions and relationships, encouraging self-reflection.
8. Quotations and References:
  • Selective Quoting: The essay includes selective quotations and references to support its points, often from personal experiences or well-known figures.
9. Conclusion and Call to Action:
  • Reflective Conclusion: The essay often concludes sections with reflective statements, summarizing insights or posing rhetorical questions.
  • Implicit Call to Action: Encourages readers to reflect on their own experiences and perceptions.
This style guide captures the essence of Christopher K. Wallace’s writing in “Unconditional Love,” providing a framework for understanding or emulating his unique style.


This December 7th, 2023, I am sixty-six years old.

Thank you for the birthday wishes. Bless you all.

I can tell you that I appear to be hanging in there. Daily exercise makes a difference.

Sleep, Water, Diet, Exercise and Belonging.

Missus cut my hair and I did fifty Tyson pushups before showering. Those were a bitch.

The real suffering came when I turn the water cold. BRRRR!

My determination is to be a competent defender male until I’m gone. I will live healthily until I am one hundred years old and then die in my sleep.

I’m reminded too that I was born forty years and a day past the greatest explosion on earth prior to the nuclear era. Here we are 106 years later, and the story grips me every time I read it.

My Grandma Rita (nee Carew) was the daughter of Francis Carew of Halifax, Nova Scotia.

On the 6th of December 1917, the greatest explosion ever to occur in the world up to then happened when the French munitions ship Mont-Blanc collided with another ship in the Halifax harbour and caught fire.

From the definitive account by Ken Cuthbertson in his book “The Halifax Explosion,” this description:

“The crew members of British Cargo ship the SS Picton were also watching the Mont-Blanc burn. The Picton was moored next to the Acadia Sugar Refinery while a crew of about eighty longshoremen emptied her cargo holds of crates of food and explosives; the ship was about to go into dry dock for repairs. The unloading was still underway when the Mont-Blanc drifted ashore on the Halifax side of the harbour. When it did, the heat from the fire was so intense that Francis Carew, the sixty-year-old foreman of the workers aboard the Picton, feared it could set the ship alight or ignite the explosives that were still in the holds. “That’s some hot, boys. We’d better secure those hatch covers before we have a fire!” Carew shouted. The men set about securing the ship in a race against the clock. But it was a contest they were destined to lose.”

Rita was just a young girl when the explosion devastated the harbour that morning. She searched for three days in a snowstorm looking for her father.

Later in his book, Cuthbertson tells what happened:

“At GROUND ZERO in Halifax harbour, along with the Mont-Blanc, the explosion obliterated Pier 6 and Pier 8 and all the buildings on each of them. All disappeared. Aboard the SS Picton, which was moored at Pier 8, supervisor Frank Carew along with his two assistants and sixty-four dock workers and members of the ship’s crew died instantly; fortunately, they had secured the ship’s hatches before the blast and so the munitions in the cargo hold did not explode.”

Three hundred and twenty-five acres of Halifax were nearly obliterated by the blast. A witness said, “… the sight was awful… with people hanging out of windows dead. Some with their heads off and some (bodies) thrown over the overhead telegraph wires.” (Billy Wells’ account)

Calamity is possible at any time. Shit happens. Floods, fires, explosions, liberals.

Men ought to be prepared as best they can. There is never a time for complacency.

Don’t kid yourselves, the sisters help but it is mostly men who defend life at large.

Despite early years where I was shot, stabbed, run over, and hit with various implements (hockey stick handle, chains, ball bat, etc.), I’m alive and defending life.

I suppose I sometimes gave as good as I got (and later earned a pardon for it).

Despite a hidden bout of Hep C (which killed dear friends of mine), and broken bones and nose, scars here and there, I’m alive and defending life.

Gilead Sciences (Big Pharma) found a cure for Hep C, Toronto Liver administered it (get tested).

Despite decades of addiction which I finally defeated some years ago, I’m alive and defending life.

I realized I was addicted to fear (read about how that works in SIPPING FEAR PISSING CONFIDENCE).

See ^^ Dr Robert Glover’s review below

YouTube Glover review SFPC Nov2023

My dad was also addicted to fear (and a friend of Bill W). Funny how that works. My bet is the five generations of Wallace men who preceded me here in Canada were all so afflicted. It’s the nervous system you see, it remembers.

My dad taught me some things about writing when I was in my forties. I’d sent him a letter at Christmas. The old man sent it back corrected. Boy, was I pissed.

Then I thought, oh yeah, he was an editor. So, I wrote him back thanking him. It took me two weeks.

He replied, “If you’re going to bother writing, double space it so I can do my thing.”

And I did. After all, we were a safe three thousand miles from each other.

That went on for a few years until probably 2010. By then I’d moved to Toronto and could visit.

I’d drop something off on trips to Ottawa and pick it up on my way out of the city.

One time I dropped off an essay and upon returning, he hadn’t marked it up.

I asked him if he was too busy and he said no, I didn’t need it. He looked away.

No encouragement. No final pep talks to see me off. But I knew: at some level, I’d graduated.

I found out if you can hang in there learning about your parents it can pay dividends.

Doing a family history is good pretense for enquiry. You are simply curious, with no ax to grind.

First a cub reporter and then a Lieutenant Commander in the Canadian Navy, dad married a “tough, stout and devout” wife who hailed from the cold North Atlantic’s Newfoundland (known as “The Rock”).

Ma told me when she was born her mother said, “I can’t take another one” and gave her away to her mother. And so, Ma was raised by her grandmother, and kept from her eight siblings.

Her dad represented a liquor concern and traveled a lot. At fifteen ma was allowed to stay overnight at the family home on Water Street in St Johns, Nfld. The next day she refused to leave.
My father was the fourth and last child born to my Grandma Rita and my Grandpa Gimpy.

Grandpa Gimpy, so named after being shot in the leg by a sniper as a scout in WW1, was an original “mad men” in the early days of advertising at Wallace Advertising. Regrettably, he disavowed my father as his son. My old man equally regretted not having knocked him out when he visited in the 1960s.

Still, my father held his father’s hand when Gimpy died at age 98… quietly hoping for some kind of reconciliation. None came. Dad said both his parents broke his heart.

After my grandmother had Gimpy committed for his violence (probably shell or war shock related), dad was raised with his mom, Grandmother Carew, and three sisters in full view of the Halifax harbour.

My mother had ten pregnancies in twelve years of which nine survived. An old colonel had told dad as a young officer to keep her “barefoot and pregnant” whilst he was sailing the seven seas on behalf of Her Majesty’s Royal Canadian Naval Service.

I personally never saw ma barefoot. Usually, she wore granny boots and moved in a blur.

They produced five sons and four daughters with me landing in the middle of a family of eleven.

Perhaps that makes me a natural manager. Four brothers and four sisters shaped me.

One of the great gifts of my life has been my son Corrie. We message each other almost daily. Now forty, he lives in Ireland with his lovely wife Carol and gives me advice. Raising him saved my life. I’m sure of it.

Second chances are my thing, and so, unsurprisingly, I have a second family. My Missus is amazing. We are blessed with a ten-year-old son and twelve-year-old daughter as magical as children are. No one is taken for granted in my home. There is no martyrdom. There is no enslavement.

We continue to learn from each other every day. I learn plenty from the kids and it is true that little girls teach men about love. It’s just as true that a man with a loyal woman by his side has the wind at his back… as long as he stays out in front of her to feel it.

For it is only men who can ensure that love prevails in a home. She can’t do it alone. That’s not how Team Human works. And so, it falls to me. For when a man uses his power and love in service of himself and others, he finds meaning and freedom.

However unlikely, I have developed into the Advisor to Men™. It seems to be the right thing to do. What else is there but to live in such a way as to somehow attempt to make a difference in people’s lives.

It provides a modicum of freedom from the suffering of life.

May you all enjoy your freedom and stay true and free.

I send you blessings of power and love.

True and free… 

Counsellor and Advisor to Men ™

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Often I see a debate arise about women and alcohol. More specifically, married women or women in relationships who head out to the clubs drinking with single friends.

Of course, you can be sure that MOST men object to this, at least publicly (who knows what is actually going on within their individual homes).


Nevertheless, I see this as a good sign. That these males have the good instincts to reject the idea of women drinking unaccompanied is a breath of fresh air.

We need more of it. We need more men defending their marriages by not only earning the respect of their partners through his deeds, but also, when necessary, by setting limits to his tolerance.

Respect is earned or taken.

The most important word in any language is no. Scarcity drives value. If you fail to say no when no is needed, your yes means less. To say no often and yes sometimes is good practice.

The other side of it goes something like this:
“In my opinion, if the relationship is solid – and this is the key here – then there’s nothing to worry about regardless of where she goes. And if it’s not solid, then how can anyone let her go anywhere – the store, to school to pick up children… if she can’t be trusted, it’s not like ‘going to a bar’ is going to be the only place she’s successful at being unfaithful. She’ll find it.”

Fair enough? Not at all. It’s arguing apples and oranges (as you shall see).

If I had a dollar for the number of times I have had a woman complain in counseling about her husband NOT defining clear boundaries for the both of them, I could take the rest of the year off.

Men lead, women command. Either you lead or you will be commanded. My bet is that you won’t like that.

Setting limits around booze and women is not about masculine tyranny, but rather failing to do so is a weak abdication of his duty to protect them both.

If a married or LTR gal is out at a club drinking with her single friends, and the man who is left at home is fine with this, he’s sick. He’s afflicted with feminized society dis-ease, something you all are witnessing around you and across the world each day.

Not only is this inappropriate for a married gal, if you as the man are failing to establish this boundary it means she will respect you even less.

You are asking to be taken for granted. (“Oh, he doesn’t care…he’s at home with the kids playing video games…”)

Now, I concede that the fact you don’t know to do this and stand up for you both is likely not your fault.

This is several generations in the making for reasons too long to go into here. Suffice it to say, now.. you do know and I’ll spell things out for you in black and white. Men earn respect by deeds… or take it with limits.

Women typically experience medical conditions, disease pathways, and medicines, differently that their male counterparts. This is well documented in the literature from heart attacks to stroke and… even to the common cold. 

Therefore, it should surprise no one that women experience fear differently than men. They are nature’s designated caregivers, and often have children or elderly parents to care for, or otherwise work helping people. Nature adapted her to cope when things go awry.

Under attack, she can’t just grab her spear and shield and fuck off into the forest. So, she evolved strategies that would keep her and her charges alive, hopefully long enough for the males of her clan to circle back and effect a counterattack and rescue.

Whereas men in fear lean towards fight or flight, fearful women use tend and befriend, or a fawning behavior to survive.

Alcohol activates the HPA axis, the hypothalamus, pituitary, adrenal functions governing sympathetic fear responses with an increased heart rate, blood pressure, shallowed breathing and narrowed focus. In other words, booze creates a fear state.

That’s why you see men get drunk and fight each other. Women? Well…

Women should never drink around men unless a father, brother, or husband is there to protect her.

And for all you guys who think some dame drinking cocktails at the bar is sweet on you, it’s just the booze (read the book SIPPING FEAR PISSING CONFIDENCE for the detailed science).

Another important distinction is that you and your partner exist as a couple in a social context. Not only must your woman respect and remain loyal to you, but she must also never do anything that even remotely looks to others as if she is anything less than 100% committed to you. You must lead your relationship and do the same for her. 

(Note: the best advice I ever received from a woman was my Missus’ advice: “I want people to look at the two of us and wish they were me. Not look the two of us and feel sorry for me that I’m with you.”)


With all due respect, it is such bullshit to call men insecure about women and booze when a man objects to her drinking unchaperoned.

In fact, it’s hypocrisy.

It’s not the woman… it’s the booze which impairs judgment.

It’s the booze that creates a body fear state which makes her fawn.

I’ve written books about it (as mentioned) and cover this in SIPPING FEAR PISSING CONFIDENCE  in the first chapter.

One man used to picking up women in bars said this knowledge ruined his life.

Being lackadaisical and tolerating a woman drinking without you being there is a failure to defend her.

It’s a failure to care enough to lead your marriage to safety.
It’s antithetical to the essential principle in which masculinity is grounded.
It is male weakness, in a vast sea of male weakness found around the world, and which has become the greatest challenge facing humanity.
Almost half American homes have no father in them.
The family—the very life-building foundation of all culture—is undermined at every turn.

Yet, there are those who are willing to tolerate drunk wives, so he does not appear “insecure.”
By whom? By men? Unlikely. The majority of males will instinctively reject the insecure angle in this case.
I will tell you by whom. By women and their feminized male counterparts. Men who tolerate boozing broads outside his protection are “nice guys” seeking maternal acceptance in a highly feminized society.
It is time for all males to grow up and defend.


For if a male cannot defend, another man must step into the breach and defend for him. This is unacceptable.
What largely makes a male a man is that he is a defender.