Orgasms equal trust. Orgasms between a couple are the ultimate physical manifestation of “Are you there? Are you with me?” the two essential ingredients to attachment (presence & loyalty).

Therefore, when we have regular orgasms with someone, we tend to trust them.

As I like to say, “without trust, you’ve got nothing.”

My mother had ten pregnancies in twelve years resulting in nine children. My sister moved into my parent’s home in a basement suite when the old folks were nearing their eighth decade in age so she could keep an eye on them. Every Friday night my dad tiptoed into my mother’s room and they were intimate; she could hear them. They went like this until ma got cancer again at 85 and passed away some months later.

Dad died a few years later but he could still get his dick hard from what the staff at the old folks’ home told us.

The need for sexual touch never leaves us. We like to be touched by someone we trust, always down to let our partners play with our balls and to fondle her pussy. It’s the grand and not-so-secret of privilege and submission we each accord other… and it never goes away.

My woman once raised rabbits and when she’s not up to a full copulation, she may engage with me in the shower, something she calls, “servicing the rabbit.” This is a nod to the rule of placing the female rabbit in with the male for mating (she says to never do it the other way around as the female rabbit might kill the male for intruding on her territory. Ouch!).

I often “service her” in the mornings when I’m half asleep and she’s… well, just lying there. The point is that quickie orgasms between a couple are one of the easiest ways to ensure and protect your intimacy bond. It says, “It is I… who has access.”

So, how do you swing this with your woman? You need to negotiate it.

It’s either that you assume the sale at the beginning of your relationship and secure an agreement with her… that this part of both your needs never shall wane, or you need to kick start it now. Men lead; women command.

What if there are children? More reason to set this tone outright or reclaim it.

When the airline attendant does a pre-flight address, they announce something like, “In the event of a loss in cabin pressure, masks will fall from the ceiling in front of your seat. Please ensure you put on your mask first before attending to small children.”

This is a good simile for the mindset you need regarding you, missus, and the kids. Parents need to put themselves first. It’s the pair-bond that must hold priority, for without it… the children are imperiled. The best thing you can do for the children is stay together.

The best thing you can do for yourselves is to live harmoniously, modeling power and love, putting your marriage and relationship first.

Orgasms are like insurance against divorce. Rare is it we leave someone who is giving you regular orgasms.

Orgasms act as an attachment barometer.

I encourage you to have this discussion, to tell your woman some of what is contained here. See if you can get her to agree to make your physical life together a priority. Over the years I have found most women who embrace this are quite good with it, capable of feeling as salty and as earthy as nature intended.

I flirt endlessly with my gal… careful to never appear needy. The idea is to sell her on our differences. She can express herself verbally and perhaps get her nurturance needs met through her girlfriends and the caring of children and in some cases, by looking after elderly parents.

You admire the scope of her emotional life but share no such tendency of your own.

Instead, like many things about men, you are rather unidirectional. It’s one of your great masculine gifts, the ability to concentrate on one task to the detriment of all other distractions. You also are less hampered by needs for emotional regulation comparatively.

Men are more action oriented. We men express ourselves physically, and our lust is its primary manifestation. Can she feel lucky that she is the object of your desire? Can you be that man?

Never let a man leave the house hungry or horny, goes the maxim. Plenty of truth to this one for sure.

Everyone likes to be someone’s chosen.

Women choose a man for his power potential and kindness, and his ability to deliver sustenance.

You acquiesce to her choice, enamoured by her smile, her interest, her hip to waist ratio, and her invitation.

And what of the silly notion that she’s always vying for a higher status male?

Let me just say that she likely bet on you when you had nothing, putting the lie to this idea. Only if forced she’d choose in her best interests because she could. Should she not? Trust me, be her powerful man and her preference is to stay put. Why? Because people will do almost anything to appear consistent. You are the devil she knows. Give her orgasms, you devil.

Ideally, even when she’s not up for immediate orgasmic action she may circle back and take care of you both at some point later. Usually that day or the next. You do a version of the same. You neither pout, nor sulk, nor ever, ever beg. It’s like sleep makes diet and exercise healthful… and orgasms make marriages work. She understands this because there is a part of her that needs it too. It’s clear between you.

It’s a question of mindset. Your woman can understand this precious gift between you needs to be maintained with regular orgasms. It’s how men express themselves and we don’t have a woman’s emotional depth to act otherwise. Don’t you dare let anyone shame you into believing this is somehow selfish or wrong. Nonsense. That’s an argument begging rebuttal, to be met with unapologetic masculine desire.

I’d urge you to pick your time (when both are amenable to discussing how to last forever) and have this frank discussion to make sure these desires are not left unmet.

Ideally, from the start you could insert orgasms somewhere in your vows, either outright or as a secret word to signal your intent with each other. “In the name of God/The Universe, I, (groom/bride’s name), take you, (groom/bride’s name), to be my (husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish by providing endless orgasms, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.”

What if you have a fight? “Don’t touch me!” might be yours or her reaction. You need an understanding this could happen. Make a deal right now that reconciliation is sealed with an orgasm.

Better still, let it be known that each may turn to the other for reassurance at any time and request proof of commitment, sealed not with vague notions of love, but specifically with orgasms. Are you with me? Be bold, create a win-win for you both.

The two great life forces which largely govern men and women are that she is the burdened female precious creator of life, you are the expendable male powerful defender of life.

She is burdened under the caregiver dilemma, something gifted to her by nature herself. Wherever she finds her self in the world, it is women who are nature’s primary caregivers. She wants to avoid seeming selfish while at the same time holding a secret fear that she will be taken for granted as she serves those around her.

Monthly she bleeds for near half her life, she is smaller in strength and size, she risks her life to bring forth life, and worries out her children forevermore while using her negative emotions to spot sickness in those around her and danger in her environment.

She is precious because her fertility lasts but a couple of decades giver or take. Her looks follow suit. She stops having children of her own in her forties so that she might help her daughters raise theirs. Thank the heavens for Grandma, and the Grandmother Hypothesis.

He is the expendable male. More men are born with developmental issues and more die in childbirth. Nature makes more boys (51% to 49% for boys unless under drought or during war in which case the ratio reverses in favour of more girls being born) in regular times to compensate. 85% of cops are men. If there is a war, 85% of deaths are male. If there is a workplace accident resulting in death, more than 90% of those deaths will be male. Highway workers, plumbers, electricians, etc etc, are primarily male.

The difference between a male and a man in my opinion is that men defend. For if a male cannot defend, some other male must step into the breech and defend on his behalf. This is where the rubber hits the road regarding masculinity.

Men and women have aligned with each other over thousands of years to take advantage of each other’s strengths and shore up each other’s weaknesses. Men tend towards larger groups while women tend to have a small group bias. Because of this, men build cultures while the sisterhood stress tests them. Ideally, that arrangement holds great promise if we can each acknowledge the other’s contributions.

What’s required is a Team Human understanding of our gifts  and how we complement each other.

The narrative online and in academia is relatively recent. Nature is ageless. I’d bet on nature.

Trust is what made homo sapiens who they are. Orgasms between men and women

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